Learning from mistakes and saying sorry!

Today is another day and another opportunity for greatness.   I’m looking forward to spending quality time with my family and being together.  Make today great!!   This week I have been making changes to my mornings.   I have been waking up 20 minutes early for the past couple days and I’ve noticed a big difference.   I really have been having more time to reflect and I have been more aware of how I want my day to be.    This is something that I will continue doing every morning.   I don’t feel as rushed and stressed in the morning.  It’s such a great feeling and provides me more calmness throughout my day.

Yesterday was a bit of a challenging day as a parent.  We got a call from my son’s teacher that our son pushed a kid on the slide and he fell and got hurt.  My wife shared the news and my heart sunk with disappointment as we are trying really hard to raise good humans.  What makes us good humans?  I think its the combination of kindness, empathy and knowing how to say sorry.   When I picked up my kids from school yesterday I can see the look in my son’s eye as he knew he did something very wrong.   The first thing he said was I did something wrong.  I could see that he knew he was in the wrong.   I got the kids in the car and briefly told him that this can not happen again because the school might not let him come back if does something like that again.  I felt really bad saying that to him.  He is only 5 years old and he is a kid.   I don’t know why I hold my kids to such a higher standard and I totally forget that they are still kids.   They have a lot of things to learn.   We as human have new things that we need to learn every day.  This morning we made him make an I’m sorry card for the child that fell.   I fully have to give my wife the credit for being such a good mom and showing my son what to do.   As I helped him make the card I felt that making the card made everybody feel better about the situation.   Today practice saying I’m sorry.   We all as humans make mistakes and hurt each other one way or another.   The key is to learn from it and not to do the same thing again.   You are going to make mistakes, we are not perfect, but we can learn and all make a difference with each other.   Learn from it and move on.  Forgive and move on!

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Hey, today you’re 70!!

Good morning,

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Today is a very special day.   Today in 1948 my dad was born.   I write today to share how special he is to so many people including myself, my wife and my kids.     In 1980 at the age of 32, my father and my whole family immigrated to the United States from then the Soviet Union.  I couldn’t imagine how difficult it would have been.  For example, if 5 years ago I moved to a country where I didn’t really know the culture or the language it would have been very difficult.   On top of it, I was about to have a kid a month right after arriving in a foreign land.    I can imagine the stress and the perseverance this whole life transition took.    My dad as a father is very loving and is always there when you need him.  He is a selfless man that will give you whatever you need love, support, financial help.  You name it he’s got your back.   The past couple years I’ve watched my father be a loving and supportive son to my grandmother, he has been this way throughout his whole life, but maybe since i’ve become a parent I started to notice it more.  It made me think that he is a better man than me because I don’t know if I will ever have that type of capacity to be there for others like he was for my grandmother.   He really showed me what love and respect was.  We can all show more love and respect for our parents.   Yes at times we might not agree with them or they might do something that upsets us.  We have to remember that love is what brought us all together and life is to short to let things get in the way of that love.  My grandmother passed away just shy of her 97th birthday.   My dad was an only child and I saw how difficult it was to see him go through this.  It made me realize that life goes full circle, we as kids have our parents take care of us so it’s only fitting to do the same for our parents as they need it.  I would always ask my dad why don’t you put your mom in a home and have someone take care of her.   He would tell me, she took care of me when I was a child and I was sick,  I need to take care of her.  This is the type of man my father is.   As I write this I start to develop tears in my eyes, because it’s heartwarming to know that my dad has such a huge heart.  I hope that I can grow into a man that can be as kind and as patient with some many.   As a career my dad is an electrical engineer, he has been doing this his whole life.  He is very successful in this career not only is he smart but he has the work ethic and attention to detail that I wish I had more of.   My father always wanted to be an actor, when he was young he was involved in writing and performance arts.  He is very creative and has amazing artistic abilities.    I remember if I needed something drawn in school I would ask my dad to do it for me.  One time in 8th Grade I was doing a project on the Taj Mahal and he drew me an exact replica by hand.  It was truly amazing.   My father as a fan of mine: He would come to as many sporting events that he could.  Growing up I played a lot of sports; soccer, hockey, volleyball, basketball, karate and he would be there for all of them.  Dad thanks for always being there for me, It really meant and means a lot to me.  I remember my dad moving me into college and helping me get my fraternity room ready.   That was almost 16 years ago.  Wow, time really does fly.  Today my dad is a loving grandpa to my kids and it’s really amazing to see how much love is present in the relationship my kids have with my dad.  It really melts my heart to see the excitement that my kid express when they find out my dad is coming to watch them.   Over the years my father has been a great friend to so many and it shows the long-lasting friendship that he has had with some many.   I love that my dad will call me to say HI.  Dad thanks for calling me and just checking in.   You have taught me so much and I hope to continue to learn from you.   May today be a day we celebrate the man, father, grandpa, and friend you are and continue for many many years to come.  I love you and I hope we can celebrate many joyful occasions together.

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Celebrate your loved ones today and every day!!! 

I’m here!

Good morning,

I hope you all are having a great Tuesday.  Today is another day to start with a clean slate.   Last night I was able to do a lot of things to make myself feel fulfilled.  Before I picked up the kids from school I ran 4 miles.  I ran four straight miles two days in a row.  I started running again last week.  It really makes me feel great.  For the past several months I’ve been focusing on the Stairmaster which is a great machine and you really get a great work out.  I personally feel there is no greater feeling than running when talking about exercise.  The constant battle I have with myself to keep on going is really something.  I push myself to the limits everytime I start running.  I want to give up but I don’t because I don’t want to be a quitter.   It makes me think about other things that I can accomplish in my life.  Hard work and practice really does pay off.   When completed it really feels like you’ve accomplished a whole lot mentally and physically.    I can relate a lot of life to running.  It’s not easy but you have to keep on trying and going forward.  You have breakdowns but to feel good you have to keep on getting up and doing it.   In running sometimes you have an injury and you have to heal the same thing with life, sometimes you are down, but you need to get yourself up and go.   If you are down today remember you can turn it all around, you have the skills, the ability, the mind and the breath to do it.

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Today I write to share that I’m open to being there for others.  I want people to know I’m here for them if they need someone to talk to.  I’ve really started to be better at listening to people.   I’m confident that over the past couple months I’ve opened myself up to be different with people in how I listen and process what they are saying.

Today try to really listen to someone and process it.  Try to understand what they are saying.   Try to walk in their shoes.

kindness.jpg Some of us have chronic health issues, some of us have stressful jobs, family drama, lack of time, etc.  We all have something, life is full of things.   Today remember that we can make a difference in everyone’s lives by being nice to each other and really show compassion for one another.   I read this quote recently ” It’s important to cultivate compassion for our own humanity.  When our hearts are open to our own suffering, we being to also be more accepting of others and to we realize that they too have the same struggles.”   Today I want to be there for you all of you who need someone. 

I hold my self-accountable. Companies should too.

Good morning,

I hope you all had a nice weekend.   Today is like any other Monday, getting back into the swing of things.   The weekends are nice because you don’t have to worry about another layer of things to do like work.   This weekend was nice and relaxing.   We spent a lot of time together as a family, which is really important to me.   Friday my wife went out to dinner with a friend after we got the kids ready for bed.  I had some time to decompress from a busy week and get ready for the weekend.   In my current state of being, I like to visualize how my weekend will be.  I like to prepare myself for how and what I’m going to take in. I did a couple things around the house and took it easy.  Sometimes it’s important to just not rush around and get overstimulated.   At times I struggle with just being at home, but I need to learn how to be with myself and not always need to be doing something.  Being calm with myself is an important lesson I need to keep on learning and practicing.   I need to really get back to disconnecting from my mobile devices during the weekend.  I’ve noticed that I have been slipping in regards to using devices.  I think starting this next weekend I’m going to go radio silent from all social media I.E Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Linkedin during the weekend.   I feel that I will be able to create more space with my relationships with my kids and my wife.  I will become even more present.   Like automobiles, people also need tune-ups and adjustments.

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Today I’m dealing with something that really has annoyed me and has made me realize I still have a lot of work to do on dealing with things.   I mean I shouldn’t let these small things use up my positive energy.   In the beginning of December, I bought a ski shell jacket in two different sizes from a website called Sunnysports.   I placed two separate orders only one showed up.   After contacting the company and letting them know I only received one, they said they would open an investigation and contact UPS on my behalf.  They stated it would take up to 10 days to finalize the investigation.   After 5 days I got a call from UPS to ask me a few questions.   After 10 days I  reached out to the company again to inquire about my package.  They stated via email that UPS has found the package and closed the investigation because they delivered it.  I informed them that wasn’t true. Once again for the second time they were submitting a claim with UPS.   at This point, it’s now going on for three weeks.  I followed up at the end of December because the company “SUNNYSPORTS” never got back to me.  I asked them when I can get a refund and they stated not until the investigation has been completed.   After that response, I told them I will be disputing the charge with my credit card company.   I filed the dispute with my credit card and went on my way.   This past Saturday I got a response from American Express they sided with the merchant and will be reversing my charge. I reviewed the statement from the merchant, they said the following:  We shipped the product and charged the receiver and please find the tracking number that shows package was delivered. In the comments section, it also stated please side with us as the merchant.  Saturday night after receiving this email I lost myself in trying to figure all this out.  I really got frustrated and angry with this whole ordeal.

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All the calmness and relaxation that I’ve been working on so hard went out the window.  My wife was great she called me out on how I was being.  Sometimes we need loved ones to help us see.  We as human deny how we act sometimes.  At times I don’t like what I hear and I become defensive, but I’m really working on it.   I want to be the best that I can be.

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I started thinking to myself this shouldn’t be so hard, but in a way, it’s my own fault.  I tried to save some money and it ended up costing me more.   It cost me my energy, time and made me not very pleasant to be around.  Sunday I called American Express and re-opened the dispute and told them I have all this documentation to prove that I never got the package, UPS also noted on their site that the package was lost.    One thing that I will take away is I have to slow down and not overreact to something that will probably resolve itself eventually.  One thing that I won’t let happen is to allow companies to take advantage of people and I will continue to hold them accountable. 

What is healthy living?

Good morning,

Oh, boy, do I feel refreshed!!!   Everyone stayed in their respective beds and I’m ready to rock and roll today.  What a difference a day makes.  Like they say nothing lasts forever.  As I was driving to work I was looking out and seeing the beautiful sky and noticing people were a lot cheery.   For me these days I don’t try to focus on what day it is, but people really do look forward to the weekends.  How can we look forward to every day and not let the regular weekdays effect us as much as they do?   I think something that really works for me is when I wake up every day I make a list of things that I am grateful for.   This morning I was grateful for many things.   I am grateful for my family, the roof over my head, the food in the fridge, the willpower to be a better person every day or have the energy to keep on trying.  Yesterday was a challenge to get going, but I fought through it.   The struggle certain days is real, at times it feels like nothing can really work, but then you find a way.   You always have to find a way!!! Like I said my sharing is a great way for me to start and to continue on my day.   Yesterday after work I picked up the kids and we went over to the gym.  They were excited to play at the kids club.  After I dropped them off I decided I was going to run.  Running for me is always the most challenging of workouts.   It is a lot of mental endurance and being present in the moment to push through the grueling exercise.  I thought it would be a great challenge for myself to feel accomplished and add another positive move in my day.  I moved myself four miles away from my negative self, it was great!    I like setting mini goals throughout my day to overcome challenges.   This is a way for me to grow and become better for myself and all around me.   What are you doing o every day to push yourself to be better?   What are some of your goal to be better?   

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Today I’m looking forward to making positive impactful decisions that will make my day great.   I will feed my body with healthy food, I will find time to read a book for pleasure, I will exercise and I will be together with my loved ones.  These simple task will help me be calm and relaxed.  Yesterday I saw an interesting Ted Talk by Suan Pinker a developmental psychologist.  Susan Pinker reveals how in-person social interactions are not only necessary for human happiness but also could be a key to health and longevity.  I really found this interesting, The Italian island of Sardinia has more than six times as many centenarians as the mainland and ten times as many as North America. Why? According to psychologist Susan Pinker, it’s not a sunny disposition or a low-fat, gluten-free diet that keeps the Islanders healthy — it’s their emphasis on close personal relationships and face-to-face interactions. Learn more about super longevity as Pinker explains what it takes to live to 100 and beyond.

Susan Pinker Ted Talk Video

Today, when you are focusing on being healthy, remember face to face interaction with people will help you live a long and healthy life according to this Ted Talk.   Focus on people!!!   P.S It won’t hurt you to exercise and eat well also!!! 

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My own ground hog day!

Good morning,

Today hasn’t been the best of mornings.  Last night I went to bed at 11:30 after having a great time with some friends for dinner in the burbs.   Around 2:30 once again I get a visitor to my side of the bed.   My son had a bad dream, maybe its time to stop letting him watch medical shows with his sister.  She doesn’t get freaked out by blood or medical procedures.  She already says she wants to be a doctor, Thanks to Grey’s Anatomy.    This morning at 2:30 I decided that I was going to take my son back to his bedroom, which I did.  The only problem is that he didn’t let me leave. Who’s the parent here?  At 6:30 I woke up in his bed and had to start my day.  I woke up on the wrong side of the bed with less time to get going.   Every morning is so hectic.  I really need to stop going to bed so late and really need to start my days earlier to make them less hectic and calmer.  This morning I had no patience and could feel frustration surfacing to my being.  It felt like the F word just wanted to come out every other word.  Lucky I was able to listen to my wife and breath.  She really is a good cheerleader and she really is great at inspiring me. I want to take this moment to thank her for getting me out of a potential catastrophe with myself.

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The rest of the day I will work on doing things that will improve my day and my interaction with people throughout my day.  I noticed this morning I had less patience for other people and it doesn’t make me feel great.  What the opposite of great, oh yeah Crummy.    It so much more powerful to have control over my feelings than not to.  Today I didn’t start my day with a positive mind, but I’m catching myself and making a pivot.

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Today if you feel like your self-slipping because you are either tired or frustrated remember to just slow down and breath.  The effects on your being are not worth it, just take the precautions and be aware of how you feel.    It will really help you in the long run.  No one is perfect but you have to be present, so you are aware of how you are feeling.  Make the change to remove all your thoughts that are negative and move to a positive mindset.

Okay, so I didn’t get enough sleep last night, big deal. I will get some sleep tonight.  Okay, my son woke up at two am, it’s okay because I was able to give him comfort and love.  Instead of thinking negatively about the things that happen, I just move them right along and don’t linger.   Today don’t linger on things, move on to the next thing.  This process will make your day move in a direction of joy and calmness.  I’m not letting my groundhog day have an effect on me.   Through my writing this morning I have found my moment of change.  Right now I’m moving past it.   We as humans really complicate a lot of things.  Today don’t complicate yourself and your feelings.   I know its easier said than done but try.  Maybe you can surprise yourself.  I’m surprising myself every day.

Simplify!!!!

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Communicate by listening.

Good morning,

I hope everyone is having a great Wednesday morning. The sun is shining and it’s a beautiful day.  Today is another opportunity to make it a great day.  Our morning started very early with our son having a nightmare and ended up getting in our bed.   I was so tired that I didn’t even take him back to his room.   My son is a very active sleeper, he is constantly moving in his sleep.  It becomes very hard to share a bed with him.   He woke up this morning and he said he didn’t get enough sleep.   I should have realized that he was telling me that he was not going to be very cooperative this morning.  It would have been easier for me to deal with him today if I really paid attention to him when he said it to me.  Wouldn’t it be awesome if we as humans would communicate with people the same way?  Every time you would talk to someone you would tell them upfront the way you were actually feeling.   Something like the following,”You know what I’m a little tired today, so I’m lacking patience and I’m not as aware of things, so please be patient with me. Wouldn’t communication between people just become better if we just have a little bit more compassion for what’s going on with them?

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These days I try to put myself in other peoples shoes and be more understanding of others.   Especially everyone that I know that has young kids and works full time.   We all go through the day to find the energy to be the best we can be: the best employee, the best friend, the best parent, the best in finding balance.   Days become long filled with doing things, but remember to breathe and take moments to look up and appreciate all that you have.  I’m going to work on being a better listener so that I can become an even better communicator.  We need to be there for others, today be there for someone that needs your ear.  Life is about being there for others more than yourself.  Try it out and see how it makes you feel.  It may be a challenge but I feel that its a challenge that is worth trying.   BE GOOD TO ALL!!!

 

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Live Today!

Good morning,

I hope you are doing well this morning.   The kids are back in school and everyone is trying to adjust to their routines.   I know the next couple days will be a challenge but with patience and calmness, I can see the success.   Last night I was able to work out and do some reading which was a nice way to get back into it.

Today I’ve been thinking about intent vs impact on how we humans communicate.  I believe growing up I struggled with communication but luckily I was able to be with someone like my wife that has helped me be a better communicator.   I know one thing as a parent I hope that one day my kids will be so lucky to find a partner that will make them better as a person.  My wife Lisa makes me a better person every day.  She balances out all my craziness and helps me work through all my insecurities.   Through the past couple months, I’ve been working on being better as a human.  Trying to enrich my life with positivity, light, and space.  I’ve been making tremendous strides in personal growth and the relationship I have with myself.   I’ve created a blank canvas for myself and I’m able to add things to the canvas that I want.   Yesterday I read a story about a young woman that lost her battle with cancer at the age of 27.   Her family shared the letter she wrote. I wanted to share her letter below.   It really opened up my eyes and soul.  It made me think about life.

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A bit of life advice from Hol:

It’s a strange thing to realize and accept your mortality at 26 years young. It’s just one of those things you ignore. The days tick by and you just expect they will keep on coming; Until the unexpected happens. I always imagined myself growing old, wrinkled and grey- most likely caused by the beautiful family (lots of kiddies) I planned on building with the love of my life. I want that so bad it hurts.

That’s the thing about life; It is fragile, precious and unpredictable and each day is a gift, not a given right.

I’m 27 now. I don’t want to go. I love my life. I am happy.. I owe that to my loved ones. But the control is out of my hands.

I haven’t started this ‘note before I die’ so that death is feared – I like the fact that we are mostly ignorant to it’s inevitability.. Except when I want to talk about it and it is treated like a ‘taboo’ topic that will never happen to any of us.. That’s been a bit tough. I just want people to stop worrying so much about the small, meaningless stresses in life and try to remember that we all have the same fate after it all so do what you can to make your time feel worthy and great, minus the bullshit.

I have dropped lots of my thoughts below as I have had a lot of time to ponder life these last few months. Of course it’s the middle of the night when these random things pop in my head most!

Those times you are whinging about ridiculous things (something I have noticed so much these past few months), just think about someone who is really facing a problem. Be grateful for your minor issue and get over it. It’s okay to acknowledge that something is annoying but try not to carry on about it and negatively effect other people’s days.

Once you do that, get out there and take a freaking big breath of that fresh Aussie air deep in your lungs, look at how blue the sky is and how green the trees are; It is so beautiful. Think how lucky you are to be able to do just that – breathe.

You might have got caught in bad traffic today, or had a bad sleep because your beautiful babies kept you awake, or your hairdresser cut your hair too short. Your new fake nails might have got a chip, your boobs are too small, or you have cellulite on your arse and your belly is wobbling.

Let all that shit go.. I swear you will not be thinking of those things when it is your turn to go. It is all SO insignificant when you look at life as a whole. I’m watching my body waste away right before my eyes with nothing I can do about it and all I wish for now is that I could have just one more Birthday or Christmas with my family, or just one more day with my partner and dog. Just one more.

I hear people complaining about how terrible work is or about how hard it is to exercise – Be grateful you are physically able to. Work and exercise may seem like such trivial things … until your body doesn’t allow you to do either of them.

I tried to live a healthy life, in fact, that was probably my major passion. Appreciate your good health and functioning body- even if it isn’t your ideal size. Look after it and embrace how amazing it is. Move it and nourish it with fresh food. Don’t obsess over it.

Remember there are more aspects to good health than the physical body.. work just as hard on finding your mental, emotional and spiritual happiness too. That way you might realise just how insignificant and unimportant having this stupidly portrayed perfect social media body really is.. While on this topic, delete any account that pops up on your news feeds that gives you any sense of feeling shit about yourself. Friend or not.. Be ruthless for your own well-being.

Be grateful for each day you don’t have pain and even the days where you are unwell with man flu, a sore back or a sprained ankle, accept it is shit but be thankful it isn’t life threatening and will go away.

Whinge less, people! .. And help each other more.

Give, give, give. It is true that you gain more happiness doing things for others than doing them for yourself. I wish I did this more. Since I have been sick, I have met the most incredibly giving and kind people and been the receiver of the most thoughtful and loving words and support from my family, friends and strangers; More than I could I ever give in return. I will never forget this and will be forever grateful to all of these people.

It is a weird thing having money to spend at the end.. when you’re dying. It’s not a time you go out and buy material things that you usually would, like a new dress. It makes you think how silly it is that we think it is worth spending so much money on new clothes and ‘things’ in our lives.

Buy your friend something kind instead of another dress, beauty product or jewellery for that next wedding. 1. No-one cares if you wear the same thing twice 2. It feels good. Take them out for a meal, or better yet, cook them a meal. Shout their coffee. Give/ buy them a plant, a massage or a candle and tell them you love them when you give it to them.

Value other people’s time. Don’t keep them waiting because you are shit at being on time. Get ready earlier if you are one of those people and appreciate that your friends want to share their time with you, not sit by themselves, waiting on a mate. You will gain respect too! Amen sister.

This year, our family agreed to do no presents and despite the tree looking rather sad and empty (I nearly cracked Christmas Eve!), it was so nice because people didn’t have the pressure of shopping and the effort went into writing a nice card for each other. Plus imagine my family trying to buy me a present knowing they would probably end up with it themselves.. strange! It might seem lame but those cards mean more to me than any impulse purchase could. Mind you, it was also easier to do in our house because we had no little kiddies there. Anyway, moral of the story- presents are not needed for a meaningful Christmas. Moving on.

Use your money on experiences.. Or at least don’t miss out on experiences because you spent all your money on material shit.

Put in the effort to do that day trip to the beach you keep putting off. Dip your feet in the water and dig your toes in the sand. Wet your face with salt water.

Get amongst nature.

Try just enjoying and being in moments rather than capturing them through the screen of your phone. Life isn’t meant to be lived through a screen nor is it about getting the perfect photo.. enjoy the bloody moment, people! Stop trying to capture it for everyone else.

Random rhetorical question. Are those several hours you spend doing your hair and make up each day or to go out for one night really worth it? I’ve never understood this about females 🤔.

Get up early sometimes and listen to the birds while you watch the beautiful colors the sun makes as it rises.

Listen to music.. really listen. Music is therapy. Old is best.

Cuddle your dog. Far out, I will miss that.

Talk to your friends. Put down your phone. Are they doing okay?

Travel if it’s your desire, don’t if it’s not.

Work to live, don’t live to work.

Seriously, do what makes your heart feel happy.

Eat the cake. Zero guilt.

Say no to things you really don’t want to do.

Don’t feel pressured to do what other people might think is a fulfilling life.. you might want a mediocre life and that is so okay.

Tell your loved ones you love them every time you get the chance and love them with everything you have.

Also, remember if something is making you miserable, you do have the power to change it – in work or love or whatever it may be. Have the guts to change. You don’t know how much time you’ve got on this earth so don’t waste it being miserable. I know that is said all the time but it couldn’t be more true.

Anyway, that’s just this one young gals life advice. Take it or leave it, I don’t mind!

Oh and one last thing, if you can, do a good deed for humanity (and myself) and start regularly donating blood. It will make you feel good with the added bonus of saving lives. I feel like it is something that is so overlooked considering every donation can save 3 lives! That is a massive impact each person can have and the process really is so simple.

Blood donation (more bags than I could keep up with counting) helped keep me alive for an extra year – a year I will be forever grateful that I got to spend it here on Earth with my family, friends and dog. A year I had some of the greatest times of my life.

..’Til we meet again.

 

 

Making a difference: By the Stories we share.

Good morning,
I hope everyone is having a great Monday.  Last night was busy as we were getting ready for a regular week to start.  We missed watching the Golden Globes last night.  This morning when I woke up everybody on the news and social media was talking about Oprah’s speech.  While taking my wife to work, we listened to Oprah’s speech on Youtube in the car.  I have to say it made me want to have it be the main focus of my blog today.  Oprah’s words are so inspirational, she is what Inspired Humanity looks like.   The speech touched me and gave me the chills.   Below is the full transcript of the speech.  I know Youtube is sometimes blocked on work computers.   If you want to watch the video there is a link below the transcript.

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“Thank you, Reese. In 1964, I was a little girl sitting on the linoleum floor of my mother’s house in Milwaukee watching Anne Bancroft present the Oscar for best actor at the 36th Academy Awards. She opened the envelope and said five words that literally made history:” The winner is Sidney Poitier.” Up to the stage came the most elegant man I ever remembered. His tie was white, his skin was black—and he was being celebrated. I’d never seen a black man being celebrated like that. I tried many, many times to explain what a moment like that means to a little girl, a kid watching from the cheap seats as my mom came through the door bone tired from cleaning other people’s houses. But all I can do is quote and say that the explanation in Sidney’s performance in Lilies of the Field: “Amen, amen, amen, amen.”

In 1982, Sidney received the Cecil B. DeMille award right here at the Golden Globes and it is not lost on me that at this moment, there are some little girls watching as I become the first black woman to be given this same award. It is an honor—it is an honor and it is a privilege to share the evening with all of them and also with the incredible men and women who have inspired me, who challenged me, who sustained me and made my journey to this stage possible. Dennis Swanson who took a chance on me for A.M. Chicago. Saw me on the show and said to Steven Spielberg, she’s Sophia in ‘The Color Purple.’ Gayle who’s been a friend and Stedman who’s been my rock.

I want to thank the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. We know the press is under siege these days. We also know it’s the insatiable dedication to uncovering the absolute truth that keeps us from turning a blind eye to corruption and to injustice. To—to tyrants and victims, and secrets and lies. I want to say that I value the press more than ever before as we try to navigate these complicated times, which brings me to this: what I know for sure is that speaking your truth is the most powerful tool we all have. And I’m especially proud and inspired by all the women who have felt strong enough and empowered enough to speak up and share their personal stories. Each of us in this room are celebrated because of the stories that we tell, and this year we became the story.

But it’s not just a story affecting the entertainment industry. It’s one that transcends any culture, geography, race, religion, politics, or workplace. So I want tonight to express gratitude to all the women who have endured years of abuse and assault because they, like my mother, had children to feed and bills to pay and dreams to pursue. They’re the women whose names we’ll never know. They are domestic workers and farm workers. They are working in factories and they work in restaurants and they’re in academia, engineering, medicine, and science. They’re part of the world of tech and politics and business. They’re our athletes in the Olympics and they’re our soldiers in the military.

And there’s someone else, Recy Taylor, a name I know and I think you should know, too. In 1944, Recy Taylor was a young wife and mother walking home from a church service she’d attended in Abbeville, Alabama, when she was abducted by six armed white men, raped, and left blindfolded by the side of the road coming home from church. They threatened to kill her if she ever told anyone, but her story was reported to the NAACP where a young worker by the name of Rosa Parks became the lead investigator on her case and together they sought justice. But justice wasn’t an option in the era of Jim Crow. The men who tried to destroy her were never persecuted. Recy Taylor died ten days ago, just shy of her 98th birthday. She lived as we all have lived, too many years in a culture broken by brutally powerful men. For too long, women have not been heard or believed if they dare speak the truth to the power of those men. But their time is up. Their time is up.

Their time is up. And I just hope—I just hope that Recy Taylor died knowing that her truth, like the truth of so many other women who were tormented in those years, and even now tormented, goes marching on. It was somewhere in Rosa Parks’ heart almost 11 years later, when she made the decision to stay seated on that bus in Montgomery, and it’s here with every woman who chooses to say, “Me too.” And every man—every man who chooses to listen.

In my career, what I’ve always tried my best to do, whether on television or through film, is to say something about how men and women really behave. To say how we experience shame, how we love and how we rage, how we fail, how we retreat, persevere, and how we overcome. I’ve interviewed and portrayed people who’ve withstood some of the ugliest things life can throw at you, but the one quality all of them seem to share is an ability to maintain hope for a brighter morning, even during our darkest nights. So I want all the girls watching here, now, to know that a new day is on the horizon! And when that new day finally dawns, it will be because of a lot of magnificent women, many of whom are right here in this room tonight, and some pretty phenomenal men, fighting hard to make sure that they become the leaders who take us to the time when nobody ever has to say ‘Me too’ again.Oprah’s Speech: Video from Golden Globes

Adjust to what happens.

Good morning, This morning our son Griffin was not feeling well so he had to stay home with my wife.  He woke up really early and was complaining he was too tired and not feeling well.  Our daughter, Lanie was really upset that her brother was not going to be there with her at the schools out camp program.   This morning we had two upset kids that needed extra support and loving care, so I needed to snap out of me being tired very quickly.  I knew this morning could go either way for me.  I could have been stuck in a cranky tired mood or be present. I had to adjust to what was happening so I could be there for two other people.  Being there for others brings purpose to my life.  I want to be there more for others, it’s part of my journey. Giving more of myself pays back the dividends of joy and meaning. These days I am more aware of the needs of others and I’m now able to adjust my being quicker.  Somedays are more difficult than others but I’m really trying because I want to be more present and loving with humanity.

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I’m sitting here at my office looking out through the window and I see the sunshine.  Sometimes just taking a minute away from my thoughts is all I need.  I looked outside and saw the beauty of the sun and the sky and it calmed me down.  Today remember to look around and appreciate the beauty around you in your life.

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Hopefully later today my son will feel better and we all are going on adventure together as a family in Wisconsin.  We are starting off the new year with more family time together.  Being together is the most important thing I want to accomplish this year.  We are going to create more memories together by sharing love and moments.   Today try to create some time for the people that matter the most to you.  Tell them how much you appreciate them.   Life is short share your feelings. 

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