I hope you all are doing great today. I wish I could say I was doing better than I am. Yesterday after getting the kids home from school and making dinner for them, I felt like something was off. I felt defeated and weak by an interaction I had. This interaction effected my emotions and my hurt feelings got the best of me. I could not let it go and it made my mood not pleasant for everyone in my family. Why do we as humans hurt the ones we love the most? Is it because they will take it no matter what? I don’t want to hurt the ones I love. I only want to be kind, loving and supportive to the people I love. Why do we keep letting our ego’s get in the way? Why is my ego overpowering my being? Today I’m going to try to get my ego back in its place and keep it silent.
For the past two months, I’ve been working on the practices of staying calm, being present and being mindful. Yesterday I was far from all those things that I have been. I failed myself and others around me. I’m really sorry for not being the best I can be. I’ve taken a step back on my journey, but I wanted to share how I truly felt. I want to be as transparent and authentic as possible. Even though I try to share only positive things, today I’m sharing how negativity has affected me. I’m sharing it so I can hold myself accountable to everyone. I’m sharing it so I can be better later today.
Last night I attempted to meditate and read but nothing was working to get out me out of my mood. Today I woke up and I couldn’t find the light. It took me a while to get going. I had some conversations with people that have wisdom and they helped guide me to the right place. I value relationships I have with people that have walked in the same shoes and know from their experiences and the wisdom they share with people. People sharing their time is showing how kind humanity really is. Its okay to ask for help! It takes courage to reach out to someone. Today if you need help reach out to a friend, share your struggle. They may have some wisdom they can offer you. They could share some insight that could shed light on your situation. It always nice to hear someone else’s perspective. I have been trying to show light to others through my journey of my daily writing, but today I had others show me the light. That’s life, doing things together and creating a positive outcome.