I have a problem day 5

 

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Good Morning,

I hope you all had a nice Sunday!  Monday’s are usually rough for me, today was different. I wanted this Monday to be different, I wanted it to be a new day of opportunity to make strides of improvement for the new week. I really thought about my Sunday.   My Sunday was the rough one.  I was feeling the effects of the bad choices I made the night before.   At dinner, on Saturday I decided it was a good idea to partake in sharing three bottles of wine between four people.   Even though I have been really connected with myself the past couple of days, I realized I do have cracks in my armor.   My cracks in my armor are the social peer pressure of drinking too much and continuing making the same mistakes over and over.

Why as humans can we not learn from our mistakes?   Why do I know the feeling it will have on me the next day and I continue doing it?  

Is it that I just want to fit in and be part of a group or is it a larger problem that I don’t even know yet.  I know in the past I’ve been involved in the bar/nightclub promotion business in my early 20’s.  It was a large component of my social life, it created a feeling of youth and energy.   As I sit here in my late 30’s I feel it’s really a time of change for me.  The things that used to work for me to feel youth and energy aren’t really working for me.

The things that really work for me these days are sharing my thoughts, connecting with people and being positive.

Yesterday even though I felt like I was missing my positive energy for most of the day, I made it a point to working through my negative feelings.  My new-found positivity and self-has made me take action for my mistakes and the feelings I was going through.

My family was invited to share a special holiday with our friends in their sukkah for the holiday of Sukkot.  For my non-Jewish friends, sukkott celebrates the gathering of the harvest and commemorates the miraculous protection G‑d provided for the children of Israel when they left Egypt.   As I sat there in the sukkah, a foliage-covered booth, I felt a change in my energy.

The first thing I did was put away my phone so that I could be present and experience the positivity this holiday can have on me> The hut or so-called sukkah was helping me through my bad choices and created a sort of calm for me.   I was sharing stories with friends, being present with my children and my family. These are the real things that matter in life, the relationships we nurture and the people we connect with that have positive impacts on us.

Shouldn’t we all have a place where we can go to protect us from negativity? 

Being able to adjust after our mistakes and move on from them with Vulnerability is what make us human and real. 

Be human! Make yourself better. It’s never too late.

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